Why not to mess with kids?
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I’m drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hair white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?"
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ’There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ’That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’
A small voice a! t the back of the room rang out, "And there’s the teacher, She’s dead."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain’t empty."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Note: It doesn’t matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.