Humor

A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, "Excuse me. I promised a friend I would meet him, but I don't know where I am." "You're at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude,"... Read More

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a... Read More

If a girl laughs, she is a jolly fellow. If a man laughs, he is manner less. If a girl talks too much, she is witty. If a man talks too much, he is a chatterbox. If a girl loves silence, she is serious. If a man loves silen... Read More

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter... Read More

The income tax officer decides to audit businessman John, and summons him to the income tax office.   The officer is not surprised when John shows up with his attorney, Smith.   The officer says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant... Read More

Whales   A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated... Read More

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never... Read More

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary. Dear Bo$$, In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and... Read More

After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. Ask them to repeat everything they... Read More

TWO WOMEN TALKING Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking? Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like... Read More