1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
  2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
  3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
  4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
  5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
  6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
  9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
  10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
  11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
  12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
  13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

  1. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  2. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
  3. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
  4. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
  5. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
  6. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
  7. Opportunist: An opportunist is a one who when find himself in hot water decides to take a bath.
  8. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
  9. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
  10. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
  11. Father: A banker provided by nature.
  12. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
  13. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
  14. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.