Oh God, Why Made Me Guy! It's Tough Being a Guy   

  • If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
  • If you don't work  enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

  • If she has a boring repetitive job with  low pay, it's exploitation.
  • If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

  • If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
  • If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

  • If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
  • If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

  • If you cry, you're a wimp.
  • If you don't, you're insensitive.

  • If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
  • If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

  • If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
  • If she asks you, it's a favor.

  • If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
  • If you don't, you're a slob.

  • If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
  • If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

  • If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
  • If you're not, you're not ambitious.

  • If she has a headache, she's tired.
  • If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.